Humpjones

Western Civilization: Still Eating Its Own Kids

Posted Mar 06, 2007 7 comments

So, did you hear the one about the home-schooled kid who got locked up in a mental hospital in Germany?  Yeah...that Germany, where home-schooling has been illegal since 1938, by order of a skinny little weirdo named Adolf.  Anyways, the official diagnosis was a “phobia of school”—which is clear-cut evidence of sanity to me, but I don’t have any degrees, either.

“The obligation to attend school is a civil obligation, that cannot be tampered with,” or so say the Germans (yeah...those Germans, you know what I mean?)

Another gem of a quote about home-schoolers: “...they show a stubborn contempt both for the state’s educational duty as well as the right of their children to develop their personalities by attending school.”

Well, we all know our Johnathan Kozol and John Taylor Gatto, so we understand that quote all too well.  School is a factory to create selfish, stupid and submissive primates, and for the most part it works amazingly well.  As for those kids who just won’t get with the program, we send them to the rape room.  What, I’m kidding?  Is that a tasteless joke?  Listen:

AUSTIN, Texas - Police were sent to all 22 Texas Youth Commission facilities and the agency headquarters Tuesday to investigate claims that young inmates were sexually abused and that agency officials covered it up.

Jay Kimbrough, appointed by the governor to look into the allegations at a West Texas youth prison, said the officers would conduct interviews at the prisons and halfway houses, secure equipment and collect documents if necessary.

He also issued a warning to agency employees.

“If you are part of this gig, you need to move on or we’re going to find you and prosecute you,” Kimbrough said.

Sounds like Pope Ratzinger chastizing the pedophile priests awhile back: “You guys have been raping kids for too long...it’s time to move on.” But that’s a whole other bag of worms, stretching from Omaha, Nebraska to Washington DC to Belgium to Thailand—beyond the scope of a humble poem such as this.

For the record, don’t think the Texas case is some horrible anomaly—statistically, prison rape is most common, and most violent, in juvenile prisons.  That’s right, you’re much more likely (5x more likely, actually) to be raped in Juvie than you are in the Federal Pen. The only point I was trying to make is that when kids won’t get in line, they become human waste—because that’s the Christian thing to do, by God.  (What, I’m kidding?  That’s a tasteless joke? Deuteronomy 21:18-21, baby.)

God Forbid Those Little Monsters Learn How to Fuck

“Sex of any kind can harm teens emotionally,” a recent Reuters article informs us.  This is definitely news to me and more or less everyone I know—we were humping like, well...like drunk teenagers and it was pretty fun.  In fact, when you actually read the Reuters article, after a great deal of stern warnings about how it’s never “just” oral sex, you suddenly find out it’s opposite day.  The second to last paragraph reads like this here:

However, they were also less likely to report positive effects, like feeling closer to their partner or feeling good about themselves. Such positive feelings about sex were common, the study found. In fact, the teens more often reported positive effects than negative ones.

Call me insane—or even “school-phobic”—but it sounds to me like that means the whole article was a damnable lie.  Right?

STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS.

Filed in: Zeitgeist

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