Sex Science 3030: Premature Speculation, Part One
Posted Sep 26, 2007 16 comments
“It is a mistake to believe that a science consists in nothing but conclusively proved propositions, and it is unjust to demand that it should. It is a demand only made by those who feel a craving for authority in some form, and a need to replace the religous catechism by something else, even if it be a scientific one.”
...and that quote, believe it or not, was none other than Sigmund Freud. Probably some of the realest shit he ever said, and certainly lightyears ahead of his “penis envy” speculations. I’m less skeptical of “womb envy,” for two basic reasons: the endless obsession for male scientists and engineers with industrial creation and artificial life, for one. The other reason is just the simple fact women are inherently superior and badass, so it’s only natural that men would feel a little threatened. Don’t look at me like I made that up, it’s science, man. Measure, model, calculate, control.
I’m Just Doing My Job
Sure, I’m wrong all the time—sure, I speculate recklessly. Caution is not what I do, folks. The good news is, you can do it, too—re-arrange the data points, juggle the assumptions. If you’re worried about being wrong, don’t be. You’ll be wrong, you’re always wrong. Everyone is always wrong. No matter how well you state your case and lay out your argument, someone will find a problem with it, someone will agree with it more than you do, and someone else will think you’re the dumbest bastard alive.
That’s really not the point, though. If you’re here to collect victory trophies, right on, that’s pathetic. The point is, how much can we explore before we FUCKING DIE? Our visionaries have shown us civilizations that span entire galaxies, and they’ve mapped out the social changes it will take to get there. The gap between human potential and human reality, here and now, is so vast that even by our own yardstick, we are a primitive species. We fight like children over resources we should share like family.
I’ve been told that we build on the shoulders of giants, but all of those giants were at least 50% stupid. This situation is especially clear in the realm of human sexuality, one of the most important and least studied fields of knowledge. Here’s my contribution: based on excessive research mixed with cosmic ignorance, I present my predictions about the future of human sexuality. They’re wrong. That’s not really the point, though. I’m juggling, and when I’m done, I will pass the balls to you. Odds are, you’ve never played with these balls before. That’s the point.
Let’s Talk About Future Sex
There’s a generation growing up right now that is used to spending over $100 a week on mere entertainment, used being in front of a screen over 14 hours a day, and used to doing lots of drugs out of sheer boredom. This is intersecting with another recent and abrupt trend in human evolution: kids are hitting puberty way, way too early. I say “too early” because for one, it’s disturbing to be attracted to 15 year olds, but it still happens. For two, 15 year olds are generally really dumb and totally unprepared for reality. Either way, that’s a losing situation.
Although obesity is often related to junk food in the public imagination, that’s just dumb. Obesity is actually a result of chronic sleep deprivation, as the hard-wired genetic clock of the adolescent gets changed by the flood of sex hormones in the bloodstream. Kids stay up later but still have to go to school at the same time...that never ends well. Of course that’s not the only cause: there’s also the abundance of growth hormones in the industrial meats that kids around the world eat every day, and there could easily be solar radiation factors as well.
Let’s take a look at what the UK Ministry of Defense has to say about the future of babies:
The global population is likely to grow from 6.5 billion to 8.5 billion by 2035. The greatest growth will take place in regions likely to face continuing material and economic risks. For example, the population of Sub-Saharan Africa is likely to grow by 81% to over 1.3 billion by 2035, 15% of which is likely to be undernourished.
With more widespread availability of birth-control measures and improved life expectancy, economic status and aspiration may increasingly govern birth rates. However, cultural mores in some countries will persist, maintaining high levels of reproduction
So we’re going to see a much more medicated and docile Western World by 2012—especially since the medication will probably be mandatory. I do say a lot of insane things, but that assertion is not one of them. After all, mandatory drug use is already a reality in classrooms around the world, thanks to Ritalin and other ADD/ADHD “treatments.” Take a listen to presidential hopeful and Bilderberg favorite John Edwards discussing his proposed health care plan:
“It requires that everybody be covered. It requires that everybody get preventive care,” he told a crowd sitting in lawn chairs in front of the Cedar County Courthouse. “If you are going to be in the system, you can’t choose not to go to the doctor for 20 years. You have to go in and be checked and make sure that you are OK.”
“The whole idea is a continuum of care, basically from birth to death,” he said.
I probably don’t have to spell it out for you—you brilliant, sexy motherfuckers—but the logic will inescapable: “Every year, employee depression costs America billions of dollars in lost productivity, worksite accidents and sick days...can we afford to let people choose to be depressed? And besides, don’t we all just want to be happy?”
But like Lao Tzu once said, the road to hell is paved with Good Christians. People need to be desensitized to death—death will become entertainment. I know, I know...like it’s not already. I won’t speculate about the convergence of increasingly violent pornography and the increasing availability (and effectiveness) of human cloning technology, but you can imagine what I’d speculate if I did. (Helpful hint.) Then again, it’s not like cloning technology is even nescessary: we’ve only just begin to see the potential of CGI special effects. As computer rendered characters and environments become increasingly photorealistic, we’re in for some truly intense onscreen headfucks.
This is a good note to wrap things up on—since believe me, this series isn’t going to be nonstop grim pessimism from a drunken Uncle Humpasaur. But here and now, in 2007, snuff entertainment is bumping up against the walls of reality. It’s very close, we’re living in very sick times, and that’s not because of weirdos like me: that’s becauase of perfectly normal people, who are in fact completely psychotic and barely functioning and sexually repressed to the point of violence. So how could I have any hope for the future? I will explain the Reasons for Optimism in the next installment.
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Filed in: Sex Science 3030
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Comments
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1. Mandy on Sep 26, 2007 at 5:17 PM permalink
"the simple fact women are inherently superior and badass”
always gotta be giving me more reasons to love you, dontcha?
looking forward to the reasons to be optimistic. write on.
2. J on Sep 27, 2007 at 12:19 AM permalink
"The gap between human potential and human reality, here and now, is so vast that even by our own yardstick, we are a primitive species. We fight like children over resources we should share like family.”
Thank you. If only I could express the potent fulfillment I experience during these few and far-between moments of mental intercourse.
Yet, don’t you dare discredit penis envy. If I had my own joystick, I’d never leave the house.
3. petkov on Sep 27, 2007 at 12:38 PM permalink
the majority of humans(don’t ask me for the exact %) need and require things such as rules and laws and to be told what they can do and cannot do. They WANT to be told what to think(if thinking is the correct term we can use here) Otherwise they will get confused and frightened by the job of trying to decipher the Universe and Existance. They cannot understand quantum mechanics but they can grok simple Good vs evil children stories. The majority of people ARE totally happy and content to watch 14 hours of TV a day simply cuz they got no brains for anything else. I don’t, I prefer to get my colors and canvases and go out and draw but that’s me. I prefer to read an educational book or do something creative but that’s me. The majority DO NOT and never have and NEVER will.
15 is NOT a kid. This bullshit about extending childhood began at the dawn of industrial revolution when kids needed to know more than just to read and write.
Modern primary and second schools as we know them didnt exist untill the beginning of the 20th century. Therefore childhood was extended into teens. Teens were normally married by the time they hit 13 and 14. Wasn’t the mother of Jesus married by the time she was 12 and pregnant by the time she was 14?
Sure teens are infantile today and cannot take care of themselves but that’s a huge topic all together different as to why that is. It’s because the society want them to be that way, same as the majority of humanity. Plus since humans learn by imitating others, so how do we expect kids to be able to do things when we stuck them in prisons for over 6-7 hours a day? Enough about this as I said.
Socialized medicine works. Being covered is a good thing. Otherwise you end up paying 300 dollars for simple tooth extraction(as it happened to my mother 2 years ago in Las Vegas) if you got no coverage. If Edwards is Bilderberg backed up then why is he last in the presidential runnings with virtually zero chance of
winning? Aren’t they supposed to be our Overlords and masters and surely they will be backing up somebody who at least has a chance of winning, right?
Edwards saying that quote has nothing to do with medicating people. I lived under a socialized medicine for 18 years of my life and man I felt covered and it was nice in a few cases of emergency when i had to go to the hospital or have surgeries. I got dental works done over 25 years ago in a socialized medicine and they still are solid as a rock in my mouth. I got no PROBLEM with socialized medicine since I have experienced it myself. Can you say the same? Then kindly shut the fuck up please. You know nothing about it except what you have read in some article somewhere.
I have experienced BOTH system: Capitalistic the non covered when I lived for 22 years in the United Stupids of America and social covered and you bet your mama I prefer the covered one.
Socialism also works. Just ask people in countries such as Norway, Switzerland, Finland and the like. They got the perfect socialism system. They are just smart and don’t call it that.
As usual well written article full of facts but they are just a bunch of data that doesn’t amount to much.
4. Humpasaur on Sep 27, 2007 at 1:15 PM permalink
Wow, you’re totally right, I think I’ll put you in charge of the site from now on. I’ll call you.
5. Jumbotron on Sep 27, 2007 at 1:18 PM permalink
how could petkov read that whole intro and still take you seriously enough to type up a lecture? what a fuckin tool!
6. Faerieana on Sep 27, 2007 at 3:38 PM permalink
oh my god. i just love you. sexxxy to the maxxx.
7. shivalotus on Sep 28, 2007 at 12:28 AM permalink
Where are these happy people petkov is talking about? I’ve talked to people. I’d say they are pacified. They are numb and nervous. They can feel there should be something more, but every time they open up to information there is someone there to tell them everything is ok. Or there is someone to tell them how happy they are being mediocre. As any good practitioner of magic will tell you, repeat the mantra until it becomes part of you.
On a second note, methinks the lady(or man) doth protest over much.
8. Ghostface on Sep 28, 2007 at 1:46 AM permalink
On a side note, I’m pretty excited about the coming of sex robots..
but for a different reason than you think
When technology gets on that level where we can mimic human functions in androids, we will be able to upgrade our own human bodies. We are already developing neurochemical advancements such as PT-141 and modafinil, but that’s just the beginning. Brain-chips are being used now to help cure parkinsons and alzheimer’s , but I can see them being used by the general population not too far from now. Id be interested Go read a few cyberpunk novels(William Gibson and such) and you’ll start to see the possibilities.
also, gender wont make as much of a difference in a transhuman society as it does now. So we wont be having as many arguments about which sex is more superior and badass
Fear of death might play a role in repression of sex, so if we develop nano and biotech that will prevent diseases, that could create an opportunity for more sexual freedom in society
Those are just some quick thoughts as I dont want to rabble on, but I’d be interested in youre input
9. Ghostface on Sep 28, 2007 at 1:46 AM permalink
awww, what happend to my smileys :’-[
10. Humpasaur on Sep 28, 2007 at 1:56 AM permalink
I think that gender roles are way too inherent to sexuality. I definitely agree that technology will blur lines, but in terms of sexual experience, I can’t imagine how we’d transcend the polarity and duality that’s built into every level of the sex act. As Godforbid puts it, “you’re either fucking or you’re getting fucked, going down or getting up...”
11. Ghostface on Sep 28, 2007 at 2:15 AM permalink
True, we will blur the lines, but we will still have polarity. But imagine having the ability to experience, on some level, what you’re partner is feeling while simultaneously having you’re own experience. Or maybe some type of Ghost in the shell body switching type of deal. Who knows..
When it comes to sexual repression, I think you should deal with how to enabling nano and biotech instead of focusing on the social aspect as much as you do(although yes it is still important). Fear of death and disease gone = sexual liberation for those who want it.
As for people in both poorer and richer nations who are willing to help themselves, I’d be interested in a project where they can use that tech to gain water from air. But first someone has to decipher the patents (or steel the device) and provide the funds for such a project. Also better solar tech, renewable resources, agriculture and etc. More self sufficiency = more self fulfillment, we’re going to have to do most of it ourselves though, since that would be bad for corporations.
12. steak on Sep 30, 2007 at 1:59 PM permalink
Usually it is easy to differentiate your sarcasm, hyperbole, etc from your sincerity. But while reading the following paragraph, I was unable to decide whether you were convinced that what you were writing was accurate:
“Although obesity is often related to junk food in the public imagination, that’s just dumb. Obesity is actually a result of chronic sleep deprivation, as the hard-wired genetic clock of the adolescent gets changed by the flood of sex hormones in the bloodstream. Kids stay up later but still have to go to school at the same time...that never ends well. Of course that’s not the only cause: there’s also the abundance of growth hormones in the industrial meats that kids around the world eat every day, and there could easily be solar radiation factors as well.”
Obesity is certainly a multi-factorial condition, and it can be influenced by hormones, metabolic rate decreases, smoking, birth control pills, and so on. However, the common denominator in all cases of obesity is an imbalance favoring caloric intake over metabolic output. Even the most sleep-deprived, hormonally twisted, industrial-meat-eating modern teen-aged kid cannot possibly become obese unless they consume excess calories. Without the intake imbalance, what matter source would constitute the fat? I’m fairly certain that--remarkable as our physiology may be--animal cells cannot convert lack of sleep, hormones, and solar radiation into adipose tissue. That would just be magical, and I know you don’t ever buy into that shit…
13. Humpasaur on Oct 01, 2007 at 3:52 PM permalink
Well, that was definitely a hefty dose of sarcasm...any time I use the words “simple,” “basic,” or “obvious,” that’s generally a cue that I’m being a Clown Expert.
However, if you can’t buy into magic, I gotta say—YOUR LOSS. It’s all out there for you, regardless of your own barriers and limitations. The beautiful thing is, it sustains you wether you believe it or not, so no worries.
14. shivalotus on Oct 01, 2007 at 11:40 PM permalink
"Every creature honors Tao and worships Te, not by force, but through its own living and breathing.”
15. david on Oct 04, 2007 at 5:40 AM permalink
"Of course that’s not the only cause: there’s also the abundance of growth hormones in the industrial meats that kids around the world eat every day, and there could easily be solar radiation factors as well.”
Good thought, but the mammalian growth hormones that are injected into livestock are proteins, so unlike other types of hormones like steroids, they get broken into their constituent amino acids like all the other protein we eat, and are thus not physiologically active when consumed orally. So i’m still betting on the twinkies and potato chips as the main reason for all those lil chubster’s abundant adiposity.
16. Barfy McChuggets on Oct 04, 2007 at 5:17 PM permalink
So your mention of “womb envy” set off a major cascade of ongoing neuron firing. Inspired me - I’ve the workings of an article in the, uh, works (which will probably prove to be an independent rehashing of stuff already written, but as they say, so it goes...).
And, I found THIS:
http://www.lovolution.net/MainPages/gaia/GaiaOnlineBook/gaia8.htm
...wherein I find some juicy tidbits. Perhaps you might as well (or not! Don’t know what you know!)!
Mostly, I like the graphics which do a good job of condensing a lot of info and contexts. Also, the emphasis on equality (which implies honesty, in my mind (and why am I talking about honesty on a recovering trickster’s blog under a retarded name?)) pleases me - Dunno about anyone else, but I’m kind of tired of all the sarcasm and evasive bullshit that seems to be fashionable with people of both sexes. PLUS it does constructive criticism of Gaia-worship, which has ALSO been somewhat trendy. But I don’t know - maybe more people need to go through that phase?
Finally: WOW, OFF TOPIC.