Our All-Time Favorite Google Searches.
Posted Jul 30, 2007 3 comments
Thanks to Shuan Inman and his badass program, Mint, we get to spend a lot of time doing espionage on everyone who visits Hump Jones. I’m just laying my cards on the table because I like to be polite when I lie to people, you know? We’re very interested in demographics, mostly out of the desire to get more done with less work. Part of the data stream we get is incoming google searches. For the past two weeks, I’ve been collecting a list of the best search commands, and now I’m going to share the harvest with you. This list is a symptom of laziness—lists are great to keep people entertained, ask George Carlin or David Letterman. But I swear to you, this list is real. With no further bullshittery, in no particular order:
1. passed out masturbating muppet
2. mouth body connection
3. mutant sex two penises
4. horny sexual android sex
5. “insert the kundalini statute”
6. big bloody humpasaur
7. mormon friend stop masturbating
8. very fat women in uniform
9. yeah yeah suck it
10. inalienable lust
11. naked neo conservative pictures jpg
12. kitten sex
13. total penetration madness
14. perverted hippie
15. toes in ass
16. rasputin dick jar
17. very drunk women drinking
18. mental foreskin
19. phish parking lot sex
20. cosmic orgasm
21. wombaticus sex
22. “do it do it do it”
23. discordian pornography jpg
24. still eating kids blues
25. hump ron hubbard
Yeah....just 25 of them. “Gee whiz, Uncle Hump, you’ve really hit rock bottom if you’re actually posting content as vapid as this.” That’s true, but only for now. You have no idea what’s brewing. The Next Round will be kicking everything around here up a notch, so just remember that I warned you, vaguely, way back when.

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Comments
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1. Bling Finger on Aug 01, 2007 at 4:26 PM permalink
Even claiming no particular order, this is still definitely #1
1. passed out masturbating muppet.
2. Bling Finger on Aug 01, 2007 at 4:35 PM permalink
I take that back, I just looked at the searches again today and “IF YOUR 12 A WANT TO HUMP SOMETHING WHAT SHOULD I DO” was on the list.
Don’t believe us, take a look for yourself.
http://www.humpjones.com/mint
I’m going to leave that open for the rest of the week. Just find the “searches” pane, and then select “most recent” and the list for the last 25 will appear.
3. Humpasaur on Aug 06, 2007 at 10:32 PM permalink
OH SHIT NEW ONES
rasputin bondage
real nose bondage
public bondage video
300 gay version
sex manikins
my RealDoll fetish
Not sure why we show up for “Bondage” so often, but I’m sure someone has a clever reason why. DRUM ROLL PLEASE! Thankyaverahmass.