Humpjones

Not Nearly Insane Enough

Posted Jun 21, 2007 2 comments

Here’s the biggest trick I learned this past year: you need to settle your brain down in order to actually think, or even see what’s in front of you. You need to spend a lot of time doing nothing to settle your brain down.  For some people that’s meditation, swimming, drawing, working out, and possibly a few other things, maybe.

The flip side is, when you do actually do something, you need to do it into the ground. Do it until police start screaming and aiming guns at you, do it until chunks of it’s brain are embedded in your knuckles for weeks afterwards. You know what I’m saying?

No? What I’m Saying:

In the 1980’s, Micheal Milken invented a crime nobody even realized was possible.  When the Federal government realized what he was doing, they shit their pants—because he was fabricating money on a level that rivalled the Federal Reserve, and shifting the balance of power way more than a single man should. So a young Rudy Guiliani was called in to to sink his little Fascist teeth into Milken’s leg. 

Yes, I realize Rudy is watching me write that. That’s not my point.

My point is that between the moment Milken figured out how to leverage high-yield bonds and the moment the Feds finally shut him down, Milken had safely stashed over two billion dollars, and he still has most of it today.

In the course of my young life, I’ve gone through easily $50,000 in stolen music, movies and software.  If you think that’s morally wrong, I would formally invite you to suck my parole officer’s dick.  My generation has more power at their disposal than any generation in human history.  Period. We mostly use it for Nelly albums and porn.  I’m not judging that, I just think it’s so lazy and stupid you should be beaten by a Kodiak bear.

Can’t Afford the Bear...

...and honestly, I don’t care.  People do what people do, and we mostly just twiddle our thumbs until death claims us.  If that’s your strategy, yeah...good luck and all that...we’ll be over here, smashing our foreheads into the brick walls you build every day.  I’m not complaining, because I know something most of you don’t: pretty soon, we’re gonna finally break through that wall, and then Things Will Be Changing Quickly. Stay tuned.

Police in Moldova, the poorest country in eastern Europe, are chasing a bank robber with an unusual style of robbery. The man, who has been identified as Vladimir Kozak, puts the bank staff into a hypnotic state and convinces them to give him cash.

Vladimir, 49, is believed to have stolen tens of thousands of dollars from banks. Police say bank employees are unable to resist being hypnotized and then hand over cash to Vladimir while under his power.

Vladimir is said to hypnotize the bank tellers by using a technique involving eye contact. Vladimir’s biggest haul was last week when he convinced a bank employee to give him $12,000. Police say the total figure stolen may be more than $40,000.

Remember the Bucky Challenge?

It’s pretty straightforward: “If success or failure of this planet and of human beings depended on how I am and what I do, HOW WOULD I BE? WHAT WOULD I DO?” It’s a hell of a thought, but it has very little resonance for most people.  Partly that’s due to conditioning—heroes are actors on a screen, problems are beyond our power to solves, solutions come from our technocratic priesthood who speak a version of English most of us cannot understand.

Partly that’s due to the fact people have so many excuses: they work jobs that eat up most of their time, they lack the education to be of much use in saving the world, they have health problems they need to deal with first.  Etcetera.

However, for those of us with way too much free time on our hands, Bucky’s Challenge is the Demon that hunches on our shoulders at 4 in the morning, mocking and chastizing us for wasting another Non-Replacable Day on.....what, exactly? I get a lot of people telling me they don’t even think I’m real, because I “get so much done”—but I have something horrible to tell you: IT IS NEVER ENOUGH.

You push harder, you re-organize your life, you assess all your actions, you make daily changes, and yet you never actually progress.  Sure, other people see your productivity increasing, and many folks will express disbelief at “how fast you’re moving”—but yet to you, nothing ever changes.  It is never enough. 

You Live in an Insane Asylum

Not a metaphor, not a joke, not poetry: a simple statement.  The vast majority of human beings on this planet are out of their minds.  They obey invsible monsters, they’re infected with language viruses, and they’re all willing to kill you over beliefs they don’t even understand.

A comedian said it: “You can’t fix stupid.” That’s something so infinitely empty, so soul-crushingly heavy, that only a comedian could say it.  Because no matter how hard you work on your own life and your own contributions to the human species, there are several billion dumb motherfuckers, and they’re getting more stupid, more confused, and more angry, every single day.

So the moral of this story goes a little...something...like thisssss:

IT’S BEEN THOUSANDS OF YEARS, AND ALL EXISTING HUMAN STRATEGIES HAVE PROVEN TO BE FAILURES. YOU’RE NEVER TOO CRAZY.  YOU’RE NEVER WORKING TOO HARD.  YOU’RE NEVER PUSHING YOURSELF TOO MUCH.  FACT IS, YOU’RE NOT NEARLY INSANE ENOUGH.

“You have to put this in perspective,” says Ron Sperling. “Here’s a guy on parole in New Jersey, wearing a fucking ankle bracelet, and in 90 days he builds up a million-dollar business.  I know respected businessmen who couldn’t do that if you gave them five years.”

--from this Stuff Magazine article

Filed in: Zeitgeist

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