Humpjones

How I Found Jesus

Posted Oct 12, 2011

Been getting a lot of panicky emails and worried phone calls lately. Well, worried voice mails, since God knows I never answer that fucking thing. People are concerned about a growing rumor that Uncle Hump went and found God, and I assure you that is pure horseshit.

I did, however, find Jesus.

The Lincoln Patriot Bible Center is just getting off the ground, but our faith has been strong and the miracles have been coming left and right. Me and Brother Ronnie have a very specific brand of Jesus Fundamentalism and I think you fine folks will enjoy the ride. A great many regular readers have expressed some confusion regarding exactly WTF we’re doing with this—rest assured, it is not a joke. We are incorporating an actual Church and we will be taking our media outreach program very, very seriously.