Humpjones

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• 1. veal on Aug 01, 2007 at 6:41 PM permalink

  I think they need to know LESS about sex, to the point where they don’t do it at all, with anyone, in any way, at any time.

• 2. Humpasaur on Aug 01, 2007 at 7:30 PM permalink

  ^^Yeah, that was John Cleese’s conclusion, too.  You’re both wrong.

• 3. DaveyCrocket on Aug 01, 2007 at 8:00 PM permalink

  yes of course, knowing LESS about a problem always solves the problem. right. cant believe john cleese believed that, shame that. anyways a short question to your first question, by love to do you mean actual love, however u define it, or love as in a nice way of saying hot monkey sex for fun and exercise. ill go out on a limb here and say u mean LOVE love and if so i can problem give you alot of material to work with from my own personal life as ive been dealing with this problem for quite some time. so once you can clear that one up for me ill see if i can write anything that you could use. on the other q’s not sure if i can help but ill try.

• 4. Humpasaur on Aug 01, 2007 at 8:05 PM permalink

  Well, John Cleese was definitely kidding, and I think Veal was, too.  And yeah, I do mean love.  I think it’s the most important bridge between sick Christian denial and sick secular “liberation.”

• 5. Parge on Aug 01, 2007 at 8:21 PM permalink

  I read this and had an earnest intent to try to answer the first question - I’d be out of my depth to attempt the others. But for some reason, the first question made me think of another blog post I’d read a few days ago:

  http://villageblog.blogspirit.com/archive/2007/07/28/hold-on-to-your-kids.html

  How does this apply? Maybe the message is wrong for the target. Maybe the target is wrong for the message.

  When you speak of a generation of distrustful, burned-out paranoids with multiple addictions, who are you talking about? To me, that describes my peer group - the herd of 30-somethings currently popping out progeny doomed to dysfunction. How do you teach love? It’s one of those skills like walking or talking that you probably have to pick up early to be any good at. Love is a skill set that can be passed down - or not - from generation to generation. If you haven’t learned it by your teens, it will probably take quite a bit of trial and error - physically, spiritually and intellectually - to understand. Even then you have to want it. The problem is not knowing what to want.

• 6. anti_material on Aug 02, 2007 at 11:19 AM permalink

  p.e.a.c.e.
  I feel that nobody discussed the addiction and attachment of the relationship.  how do people avoid a controling partner or a woman beating muther fucker?
  pretend RAW was writing the book, channel his wisdom and apply it to this joint.
  my parents had bought me a book when i was younger called “boys and sex”
  i remember this one part where it said that girls could achieve orgasm by crossing their legs real tight and swinging the leg.

• 7. Natalie on Aug 02, 2007 at 3:49 PM permalink

  My advice would be that you check out:

  For love stuff: “All About Love” by Bell Hooks. An eloquent and honest discussion of love (or lack thereof) in our society.

  For sex stuff: check out the goddess who is Annie Sprinkle (http://www.anniesprinkle.org). Her attitude and practice of being “sex positive” was extremely influential, at least to me. I got to see Annie perform a couple of times in college.

• 8. MantricSpork on Aug 02, 2007 at 4:33 PM permalink

  The one idea that I haven’t seen much mention of, and that I personally feel is important, is not limited to discussions of sex and love. It is the obsession with naming and compartmentalizing everything. Are you straight, bi, queer, etc. All such naming efforts are fundamentally rooted in the desire to control. I have scripts, I know how to deal with a straight guy, a gay guy, a lesbian or a bisexual. But that shouldn’t be how we see each other. I don’t know how exactly to communicate my point.

• 9. Natalie on Aug 02, 2007 at 4:52 PM permalink

  MatricSpork, I totally know what you mean. I’m glad you brought up this point: the obsession with labels and compartmentalization. I have a friend who is a transgendered (MTF) ER doctor and also a “dyke” (her words). So basically she’s a woman who likes to fuck and have relationships with women. She’s on hormones and looks wonderful—she has a great post-feminist, riot grrrl kind of look. The only surgery she’s had is having her trachea shorn, so she can pass as a woman. Technically, she still has a cock, and isn’t planning on getting surgery down there. I don’t blame her, why get your genitals chopped up if you can happily re-learn how to use and think of them in a way that better aligns with your sense of self? To my friend’s surprise and disappointment, some of the biggest prejudice she experiences comes from the LA dyke bar scene. Butch dykes 10x more male-looking than my friend call her “sir” (in a condescending way) because they know she is MTF trans. It’s unbelievable. To me, it comes down to the whole problem of comparmentalization and the obsessive need to “name.” Thanks for addressing this issue.

• 10. dude h on Aug 02, 2007 at 8:57 PM permalink

  1. Do you think it is possible to literally teach Love to a generation of burned out paranoids with multiple addictions and no trust in anyone?  Do you have any ideas on how to approach that?

  YES! but im gonna have to think about that one, and may never get back to you...because im out of ideas. i mean, is it my generation you are speaking of? because im in my early 30s and have screwed up in the love department to the point of feeling unredeemable...if you were talking about young people as in teenagers, yes, young minds are pliable and all that. but love being the greatest mystery of them all, well, good luck with trying to get it right for any generation. good luck trying to get it right in your own life. thats got to be the tallest order on the menu, a mount everest of the heart and soul, but, if you are up to the task, EXCELSIOR!

  2. What Key Issues or Obvious Points do you think all other sex books you’ve read overlooked...or deliberately didn’t tell you?

  i havent read a whole whole lot of sex books, but i would say that a fresh deconstruction of the sexual revolution is always in order. for inspiration, there is an essay in vonnegut’s palm sunday that might help, and of course theres mary daly...basically start where you are, swing hard towards the feminist view, then hopefully let the pendulum swing back to some sort of balance. a new sexual revolution is needed, and hump jones is the man to spark that shit up. but hes gonna need a consort...a “female hump jones” must be the co-author, in other words, to modulate your masculinity and create the antithesis of the previous sexual revolution, which suffered from a severe hormonal imbalance, skewed, towards...well, you know.

  3. What emerging problems, opportunities and trends do you see emerging right now that need to be addressed in order for this book to be useful to the youth of tomorrow?  What is the future of human sexuality looking like from where you see the Universe?

  rediscovering low-tech, no-frills natural human intimacy. and hanging onto it with both hands. the future of human sexuality is increased digitalization, increased anomie, increased “on-demand” pay-when-served mechanized and dehumanized anomie. the challenge of the future is going to be hanging onto and nurturing human intimacy. this is an emotional and familial issue as much as it is a sexual issue. in other words, being able to get the best of both worlds, holding the objectification/commodification of sexuality and reaping its benefits in one hand, while maintaining that both-hands grasp on real, deep, human relationships at the same time. neither of which are going to go away, but they need to be reconciled.

  4. Are there topics you strongly feel that I should not even mention to the young people reading the book?  If so, please explain why, I’d really appreciate that.

  not philosophically, not “in a perfect world,” but you know damn well some issues are gonna be a can of worms that might get mr jones in a heap of trouble, misunderstandings, and out of context character assassination. so tread carefully.

  an additional thought as to what you SHOULD cover: there is a significant overlap between some of the moralizing that goes on with sexuality and the need for people to protect themselves sexually, emotionally, and legally. the moral aspects can be summarized, but there should in the book be a strong emphasis on common sense, heart sense, VD sense and just being smart in general. the book should be and probably will be a great, real-world resource for teenagers. as such, humpty gonna have to sit through a lot of teenage interviews and pop culture and shit to get inside the heads of the audience.

  heres another: i hear young girls are--sometimes under great peer pressure--giving head in bathroom stalls at middle schools these days. what does this say about youth culture? i think there ought to be a chapter on self-esteem, espeically for girls in the book, written from a womans perspective, that deals with not letting the freight train of young teenage boy horniness run these girls into the ground.

  5. Am I completely retarded for doing this and does a book already exist that covers it all perfectly?

  if i were a lawyer, hell yeah i would say you are fucked in the head. in fact, you might consult with one before its all said and done. AFTER the book is written (!important!) and before it goes to the magical happy-fun time publisher who jumps at the chance to publish an outlaw’s guide to the very real world-in-progress of sexuality from a youths perspective. then perhaps you should throw that lawyers advice out the window after you digest it completely, or not. but it would be helpful to know how its gonna play out like that because you know damn well of you go through with it in a big way you are gonna get hit and hit hard for it.

  but it doesnt matter if you are retarded! remember? “and thats not a threat...its a promise.” hump jones done went on the hook for this shit!

  good luck man!

• 11. Senator Knee Hi on Aug 03, 2007 at 1:26 AM permalink

  1. You can’t teach love. To anyone. We all learn love but through experience and battle, not tutoring, council or well-placed prohibitions and temptations.

  2. I wish someone had told me earlier that the whole point is to enjoy it as much as possible. Aside from that, I guess that the “everyone’s different” gong could have been struck a little harder.

  3. Teach homosexuality alongside heterosexuality in primary education. The future of human sexuality is bleak. The future is exciting and sweaty, but shallow.

  4. Voluntary censorship? Really?

  5. Other than the OED, I think you could be a pioneer, baby.

• 12. Joe on Aug 03, 2007 at 1:40 PM permalink

  To teach love:  The person wanting to learn how to love must begin to actually believe that the other person is an exact copy of themself.  Since we really only love ourselves...I think that if we convince our mind that the other person is just a mirror image then that might actually work.

• 13. Natalie on Aug 03, 2007 at 3:32 PM permalink

  I think it may be possible to teach love. Love thrives in the most unlikely and impossible circumstances. I think love could be taught in a conditional manner, if the unconditional love factor isn’t present.

• 14. Element 5 on Aug 03, 2007 at 6:26 PM permalink

  Love (in theory) is easy to teach.  It requires mutual surrender.  Now reasonable trust?  That’s a completely different thing.

• 15. dude h on Aug 03, 2007 at 8:43 PM permalink

  steer them towards intimacy, real intimacy, and trust and love will follow. or, rather, lets say there are three parts, love intimacy and trust, and some intersect with reality more readily than others. love being the hardest one to grasp. but to teach the other more attainable parts, you will ‘infer’ or ‘enable’ love thereby.

  but you really, really should take anything i say with a bucket of salt.

• 16. One Lonely Number on Aug 04, 2007 at 6:53 AM permalink

  teach love? first off, look at our society.... it’s all about self-loathing and finding out more of whats wrong with you instead of just accepting yourself. the kids need to learn self-acceptance and confidence before breaching about seriously loving another. otherwise it would get really fucked up results
  just as marilyn mason said, “ ‘love everybody’ is destroying the value of ‘all hate has got me nowhere’ “

  what key issues? first off, great sex is more than just thrusting blindly. teach the damn kids where to hit!!! the g-spot is god
  anyway… now with std’s… you can get them practically anywhere these days. not just sex. all it deals with is the exchange of fluids in some way or form - public bathrooms are a perfect example. herpes galore!  also, go more in depth with teen parenting… it holds more responsibility than one thinks. and it strains the teens’ parents even more.... poor bastards

  your trends question… really, everyone is sooo caught up with the physical aspect of sex in general. all about getting off. hell man, you can do the same with your hand, and get the same results. you orgasm, thats it. what we need to look more at is the emotional response and the connectedness of the whole thing. we have been led to believe that showing emotions makes us weak, but in actuality, it’s ignoring them that does it. repressing them… then they kill us.

  topics that i’m against? well… i really don’t have any. just what i think any author needs to do is write in as many perspectives as possible - the whole “there is no box, there never was a box” feel to it. rape for example. the power high the person doing it goes through and what the victim feels during and after the fact. just topics like that.

  and finally, no book covers sexuality perfectly. but i applaud you for trying. books are dated, sexuality is evolving. constantly on the move and growing into something else. meaning more diseases are on the rise, and more bastard children popping out because either parent doesn’t want to take responsibility for getting their dick wet and/or taking care of themselves.

• 17. wu-di on Aug 05, 2007 at 2:17 PM permalink

  A textbook could tell a youngster, “if your partner does not respect you in such and such a way, then you need to leave that person and find another person to try and love” for example.  It could also say “if it hurts, dont allow it to happen”.  It could say, “this is what feels good”.  But a book could never address the unique obstacles each individual faces in finding a lovely feeling, a beautiful situation.  Sex books are lacking what all books are lacking, reality.  Well, we all know someone who is very aware that they are in an unhealthy relationship, and that that relationship is only destructive, hateful, and without love.  There are factors and forces much more powerful than words in a book, or advice from friends, or teachers, or councilors, driving someone’s decision to be disrespectful to their partner, or to continue to allow themselves to be disrespected.  Fear, Anger, Jealousy, Infatuation, whatever.  These are feelings that torment souls.  These are things that impede love.  These are not pieces of information that can be learned or unlearned, they are pieces of people, parts of hearts.  I don’t think love is something that you learn with your brain.  I think to be taught love you must have been loved once, most effectively, at a young age.
  Maybe a book could be written for teachers, not for students.  It could be a workbook, and could contain practical activities for adults, that suggest the possibility of beauty and love.  If the adults love each other, then the children will love each other, right?  Children want to be like the adults that they see.  I think love could be taught through music, science, or baseball, to name a few. Maybe good healthy sex would happen on its own if kids grew up feeling a lot of love all the time.  Children spend eight, nine, ten hours per day with their teachers and coaches.  Sometimes these people love them.  Often times they do not.  Children go to school and learn NOT to love.  Children go to school and develop callouses because they are not loved at school.  But Their Mom and Dad have to work 9 hours a day because they owe the bank 300 thousand dollars. Maybe a love book could help administrators hire teachers and with bigger hearts.  Maybe a love book could teach parents how to reduce stress in their life, increasing their energy levels, allowing them to be more involved in their children’s lives, more able to be critical of institutions, and more credible in their criticisms.  It could teach the teachers of our children that penises and vaginas are not things to be ashamed of and that paranoia, violence, power, depression and delusion can easily be taught by example.