Humpjones

DIY Porn is Killing the “Adult Industry”? HELL YEAH.

Posted Jun 06, 2007 4 comments

I was wondering when this would finally happen.  See, in addition to being the single greatest sex journalist who has ever lived, I’m also a musician.  (I know,I know...take a few moments to compose yourself.) The music industry has been dying a slow, agonized and completely hilarious death for about five years now, and it will probably be another decade before it’s cancerous heart finally stops pounding. 

The cause of that dinosaur’s demise?  None other than the very same internets that bring you to my bedroom, dear reader.  Today, after a century of social repression, mafia control, brutal exploitation and bizarre legal battles, the recently mainstreamed Adult Entertainment Industry is discovering that their time in the sun might be very short indeed.  Because the internets are beginning to eat away at their profit margins, and decentralize the Smut Monopoly that they’ve been taking for granted all along.

Don’t Get Me Wrong, Here

Now look, I’m not proclaiming The End Of Porn As We Know It.  But the warning signs are quite real: a recent Ars Technica article notes:

DVD sales and rentals have dropped by 15 to 25 percent in the last year, according to industry estimates, and some believe that it could fall further if the industry doesn’t catch up with new online trends.

It’s tempting to make wet, sloppy metaphors, such as “Jenna Jameson was the Britney Spears of porno,” or “Hustler charging $8.99 an issue was essentially the same as asking $17.99 for a piece of shit CD.” However, Jenna Jameson is (somehow) less fucked-up than Spears, and you’ll never buy a CD that includes excellent articles re-examining 9-11, or proclaiming Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity “Asshole of the Month”.  And no record executive in the history of mankind has had even a fraction of the balls that Larry Flynt has been demonstrating for most of his adult life.

Just the same, Adult Entertainment is a polite metaphor for JIGGLING NUTS SLAMMING SHAVED BEAVER, and as poetic as that is, it’s not a business plan with much longevity behind it. After all, any set of testicles will jiggle when set in motion, and thanks to Gilette and Norelco, anyone can shave their beaver.  This is why DIY, homemade pornography is increasingly presenting a challenge to the existing purveyors of smut.

Let’s Recap

Remember the last article I wrote here?  Consider this further encouragement.  The major companies are about to start pouring money into affiliate programs, in a desperation attempt to get ahold of the online market they’ve been sneering at from their hot tubs in southern California.  It’s probably too late, but their money is still money, and you could be there to recieve some.

Professional studios have stated that they are attempting to catch up with the shift in public consumption trends by selling more online downloads and revamping their web sites to be more useable and professional.

Wow, good call, guys. When I read stuff like I that, I get a full-blown e-rection, because that means that Back Brain Media is at least a full year ahead of the Big Boys.  Even the online porn world has seen a 14% drop in revenue, which is hilarious, because Tasty Free Love has been seeing a 14% increase every day since we started working on it.

Let the Losers Have the Last Word

“We use good-quality lighting and very good sound,” Red Light District president David Joseph told the New York Times, yet the company reports a sales drop of 30 percent over the last two years.

Oh yeah, Asus just announced their new laptop—it costs $189. Looks like the future belongs to the little guy after all.

Filed in: Zeitgeist

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