Humpjones

Posted Mar 26, 2007 13 comments

Here’s something I’d never thought of until I sat down to write this: my two favorite experiences, which I more or less devote my life to seeking out, are the total stillness and inner silence of what alcoholics call “Moments of Clarity”—and the total annhilation of the self that comes with truly excessive catharsis.  Today, though, we’re going to focus on that first experience.

The last article got me a lot of negative feedback—mostly people upset about my negativity, hilariously enough.  Funnier still, it was overall a very positive thing because it gave me a Big Pause, and like I said, I sort of live for that shit.  The biggest vestigal organ I still have from growing up way too smart for my own good is impatience.  Actually, impatience makes it sound like I’m fidgeting in line at a grocery store...so let’s call it a Cosmic Contempt for anyone that won’t keep up with me.  Given the speeds I tend to operate at, that’s a rather serious problem.

After all, my sense of humor is not really obscure.  In fact, it’s all too common: I assume a huge amount of background context and information when I crack jokes, and it’s context that people usually don’t have.  I think we all do that.  So when I crack a joke about 300 being ”The Greatest Gay Porno of All Time,” more than a few people logically assume I’m demeaning homosexuals.  This is utterly hilarious to me, but that’s between me and my frontal lobes—on a larger, social level, that’s a rather serious problem.

Too Bad I Don’t Care

Hey...guess I am an asshole after all. Onwards.  Humpasaur Jones is an avatar, I got this whole schtick secondhand from someone in a lucid dream, not that I expect anyone to believe that.  Most of what I do, especially here on The Internets, is just a big House of Mirrors.  The dude who built it, and lives somewhere inside (maybe) is a recovering pathological liar, much like people are “recovering alcoholics”—you don’t stop being an alcoholic, and I never stopped being a habitual liar.  We just modify our behavior and hope the Bad Old Days don’t come back.

I would like to make it very clear, though, that there’s a lot of valuable and perfectly real facts, concepts, theories and observations here in this House of Mirrors, and if you’ve suffered through this absurdly self-indulgent introduction, here’s an important one: You’re Having Sex Way Too Fast.

In fact, you’re doing everything Way Too Fast.  Thinking, moving, reacting, talking, reading—and especially breathing.  It’s most instructive to focus on breathing for a second—are you aware of your breathing, right now?  How often are you aware of your breathing?  If you’re not consciously aware of it, how do you breathe?  In other words, if you’re not breathing, who is? Respiration is a good place to start, because after all, when you breathe faster, you breathe less deeply.  And shallow living is the Core Problem here.

Entrainment: The Physics of Mind Control

The human brain is a piece of shit. I’m mostly kidding, of course, but I do think there’s been more than enough flowery, crap prose written about “the exquisite machinery” of the “most powerful thinking machine in the known Universe.” When you look at the evidence—such as all human history, or the behavior of nearly everyone you and I will ever know, including and especially ourselves—you have to conclude that the human brain falls considerably short of it’s own hype.

Anyone who’s ever played with binaural beats understands the concept of “entrainment” firsthand.  Entrainment is the weird uncle of the physics family, everyone knows about it but they don’t discuss it too much, you know?  Legend has it entrainment was first observed by clockmakers—or a guy who ran a clockshop—because you can demostrate the principle by taking a bunch of old mechanical clocks with pendulums and putting them all on a table together.  Over the course a few hours, they will all get in synch with one another, and stay there.  Interestingly, you get the same result putting a bunch of women in a dormitory situation—they all wind up on the same menstrual cycle.  Weird, huh?

The human brain works in the same fashion—given a strong outside rhythm, the brain will sync up it’s electromagnetic waves to that tempo.  Given the amount of electromagnetic appliances, shitty loud music, and mechanical noise we’re surrounded with, that’s a rather serious problem.

Quantum Tantra Type Stuff

Of course, wether or not the human brain—and the body attached to it—is a cage or a tool is strictly up to you.  No matter what you decide, though, I would like to suggest a few simple exercises that will help you with either struggle.  Wether you’d like to escape the flesh, or just learn to use it better, you’re going to have to start meditating regularly.  I was once asked to simplify meditation while I was in a drunk and sarcastic mood and came up with something that’s stuck ever since:

1. Sit in one place until you realize how hard it is to sit in one place.

2. Then, don’t move.

But why meditate alone, right? That’s the question that inspired Tantra, thousands and thousands of years ago.  Now it’s 2007 and Tantra is still the Heavyweight Champion of all mystic traditions.  That’s probably because all mystic traditions, from Gnostics to Buddhists to goth kids reading Crowley like they Get the Joke, are all variations descended from Tantra.  (Here’s a handy chart.)

Further Reading for Curious Perverts

All this frenzied thrusting bullshit—come on, man.  That’s for dogs, that’s for guilty Catholics, that’s for porn studs who are too numbed on cocaine and Cialis to even feel their pecker anymore.  You’re a human being with standards and taste, right?  Act like it. 

In the course of this week, we’ll keep digging into the neurology and biology behind, well...fucking...but it’s all going to revolve around this here theme.  If you want to enjoy your life, slow down.  Don’t let this sick and psychotic culture dictate how you live, and especially don’t let it get into your bedroom.  The stakes are too high nowadays.  You gotta stay weird, you gotta stay free, and you gotta understand what makes you tick, twitch and tremble.

Some Nick Herbert:

Well, psychology has used a lot of classic metaphors to explain the mind, like the hydraulic metaphor of urges bulding up, and even when repressed, they’ll find some way to spurt out to the surface. We’re told that releasing your repressions will relieve the pressure, and you’ll become healthy. That’s a very classical metaphor.

Now we have this marvelous new way of thinking called quantum mechanics, and it seems right to use these metaphors to explain human behavior. So, what’s the most interesting human behavior of all? Sexual, of course. That’s the idea, to use quantum mechanical metaphors to explore sexuality, to look at it through the lens of quantum physics.

I would consider Q.T. successful if we could find new things to do that never would have been thought of using the old metaphors. I mean, of course, pleasant things.

Nick Herbert on Holistic Physics.

Quantum Tantra Dot Com.

Reuniting article on Tantra and Wisdom.

Reuniting archive of Tantric info (very dope, fresh and def).

13 comments

Filed in: Sex Science

Posted Mar 25, 2007 8 comments

There’s been a lot of bitchery and complainifying about how the recent film 300 is some sort of pro-war propaganda.  There’s even people over in Iran making Big Grumpyface over this movie—and sure enough, the mythos of brave AND WHITE Spartans taking on the rest of the world to defend their Homeland Security has been catching on big.  And I gotta say: I am all for it.

If right-wing America wants to adopt Spartan culture as a model for America’s War on Terror, that is the funniest shit ever. Plain and simple.  If you gave me five years and $50 million dollars, I seriously doubt I could sabotage the Neo-Conservative agenda more completely than that.  They might as well be holding press conferences about how NAMBLA is a bunch of great guys who are just really misunderstood.

Monkey See, Monkey Make Connections

Obviously, inevitably, hilariously, tragically, you just know that someone was going to have to take the bait.  I think it was McLuhan who said something like “faced with information overload, we have no alternative but pattern-recognition.” Here’s one example of thousands:

The movie 300 has lessons for us who chose to support the war on terror.

A brave leader, without allies (his only ally at first fought with him valiantly and then left the battlefield early), chose to defend freedom from monsters who loved only death and tyranny. Does this sound familiar?

The parallels in this movie to the global war on terror and its primary theatre in Iraq are telling, and they reveal that the more obstacles a leader must overcome, the more heroic his eventual victory will be.

Thank you, President Bush, Spartan.

No, really, check the link—I did not make that up.  Apparently all of these people walked out in the middle of the movie and missed the part where everyone gets killed.  Humans need to worship heroes, even if they’re over-priveleged former cheerleaders.  We see what we want to see, always. 

The Mighty Warrior Culture of Homo Pedophiles

To most moviegoers, “300” may or may not evoke the Clash of Civilizations, but it certainly is popular among young American men. The R-rated film grossed more than $70 million its opening weekend, the biggest March debut ever. The majority of the audience was under 25 (though there were a surprising number of older viewers). They were probably not drawn by their interest in classical Greece.

So why do I think that a generation of frat boys falling in love with Sparta is some of the funniest shit I have ever seen? Let’s start with a vocab word: ”Pederasty.” 300 opens with a montage scene explaining the typical Spartan childhood, with themes of eugenics (weak babies left to die on a mountain) and the trial by fire initiation into manhood, where young boys are sent into the woods to kill slaves and hunt for food—or die.  It’s very exciting and heavy stuff, and it also completely ignores everything that happens in between coming back alive and becoming a Spartan warrior.

There’s a very good reason for that, too.

The Spartans believed that the love of an older, accomplished aristocrat for an adolescent boy was essential to his formation as a free citizen. The education of the ruling class was thus founded on pederastic relationships, required of each citizen. The ephors [gov’t officials] fined any eligible man who did not love a boy, because, despite his own excellence, he failed to make a beloved “similar to himself.” Likewise, for a boy it was a disgrace to not find a lover. By the time they reached the age of twelve “there was not any of the more hopeful boys who did not have a lover to bear him company.”

I have a lot of theories, being something of a pothead, but I believe none of them.  So I’ll bypass any earnest armchair psychology and just ask—are we living in a culture run by repressed homosexuals? After a generation of Rambo and Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris and all these gorgeous hunks running around with their pecs glistening, killing thousands of Ethnic Villians, what kind of imprint does that leave?  It is truly possible to worship those heroes and still hate faggots?  I’m beginning to think it’s not—and this attraction/repulsion, which is built into several generations of Stupid White Alcoholics, might be the foundation that a lot of other programming is built upon.

The spectre of homosexuality has always stalked the military more than any other human institution.  Now that it’s been going on in every culture for a few thousand years, I think we can go out on a limb and say that’s probably not accidental.

Professionally Offended

Iran on Monday strongly condemned the US film company Warner Bros. over the allegedly “anti-Iranian” blockbuster film 300.

Javad Shamqadri, art advisor to President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, told Fars news agency that the film was an insult to Persian culture and in line with the American “psychological war” against Iran.

A few years ago I would have been amazed, downright flabbergasted, that even with all the discussion surrounding this film, nobody has brought up the fact Spartan culture was based on the sacred relationship between grown men and little boys.  It’s been a very educational few years, though.  My most recent blow to sanity was the flap over the Aqua Teen Hunger Force terrorist attack on Boston—to me, in my crazy and naive youth, I would have thought that the Boston Police would be an international laughing stock and offer blushing apologies for shutting down an entire city over an obvious prank, one that had been going on in plain sight for weeks before they even noticed, and the United States would slide a little further down the slope towards official Third World status.

Instead, they got to act outraged and heroic, and wound up getting paid millions by Turner Communications.  They should have been fired, and instead they got a bunch of fancy new equipment to fuck up with.  So be it—rather than a gradual slide, apparently we’ve decided to turn around and just run straight down that slope.  It’s crazy, it’s stupid, but it’s the Spartan thing to do.

8 comments

Filed in: The War on Sex

Posted Mar 23, 2007 10 comments

Quite a question, I know.  I’m full of strange questions these days.  For instance: are you familiar with the single-celled organism known as Toxoplasma Gondii?  Because odds are actually pretty good that they’re familiar with you. According to statistics, there’s over 60 million Americans walking around with a Toxoplasmosis infection.  According to biologists, Toxoplasmosis has probably been around for as long as cats and humans have co-existed—many thousands of years.

What’s most interesting about Toxoplasmosis is that it creates neurological and behavioral changes in the host animal. This raises some very, very strange questions, and we’ll ask ‘em all here today.

It has been found that the parasite has the ability to change the behavior of its host: infected rats and mice are less fearful of cats - in fact, some of the infected rats seek out cat-urine-marked areas. This effect is advantageous to the parasite, which will be able to sexually reproduce if its host is eaten by a cat. The mechanism for this change is not completely understood, but there is evidence that toxoplasmosis infection raises dopamine levels in infected mice.

Where You End and They Begin

Now we’re elbow-deep in the Disturbing Questions about boundaries and identity.  Are you your body? If your body weight is around 70% water—and it is—is that water part of you? Or is it just water that’s in your body?

So what about the rest of you?  This leaves around 30% of your body weight, the actual tissue of organs, muscles, cartilage and bone—but that’s not all.  In fact, by most estimates more than half of the cells in your body are actually bacteria, viruses and fungus.  You have no nervous system control over or communication with these critters, but they’re in you—billions of them—so are they part of you?  Or are they just critters that are in your body? 

The Human Genome Project, like all real science, wound up raising a ton of new questions and making our old questions irrelevant.  Once the whole thing was hammered out and codified, everyone found themselves looking around the room and shrugging, because it turned out there’s not nearly enough information contained in the human genome to actually build a body. Yet, obviously, bodies happen, all the time.

Real-Deal Mind Control, Baby

Do you know Chris King?  No, that’s actually not a photo of him to the left. He’s kind of a patron saint for me, since I think he’s one of the Major Geniuses of our time, and I’m about to quote him:

“The 5 x 10^4 genes governing central nervous system development, around 60% of human genes, cannot informationally specify the connections for 10^11 neurons and 10^15 synapses.”

I realize that’s not even English to a lot of people, but he’s basically pointing out that even though most of our genes are devoted to building the human brain, there’s still not nearly enough information contained in those genes to actually build a brain.  So there’s gotta be something else at work.  Chris King has worked out, in clear mathematics, what that “something” is—but I’m going to ignore that completely, and suggest that the “something” could just as easily be some sort of bacteria or virus.

This would be pretty simple to build a case for, which is creepy.  After all, the structure of our neurons is being sculpted every day—rather than reinvent the wheel here, let’s just quote Howard Bloom:

An infant’s brain is sculpted by the culture into which the child is born. Six-month olds can distinguish or produce every sound in virtually every human language. But within a mere four months, nearly two thirds of this capacity has been sliced away. The slashing of ability is accompanied by ruthless alterations in cerebral tissue. Brain cells are measured against the requirements of the physical and interpersonal environment. The 50% of neurons found useful thrive. The 50% which remain unexercised are literally forced to die. Thus the floor plan
underlying the mind is crafted on-site to fit an existing framework of community.

So if Toxoplasmosis can alter—perhaps even regulate—levels of hormones, such as dopamine, which is basically the motivation behind nearly all human behavior, then it’s not a stretch to conclude they’re literally sculpting the host organism’s brain.  Of course, we’re not rats, so an attraction to cat urine wouldn’t do Toxoplasma Gondii any good—but then...what would?

Let’s Get Dumb and Screw

For a long time, biologists assumed that if you didn’t get sick, Toxoplasmosis didn’t really affect you.  Like most human assumptions, this has turned out to be dead wrong.

“Interestingly, the effect of infection is different between men and women,’’ Dr Boulter writes in the latest issue of Australasian Science magazine.

“Infected men have lower IQs, achieve a lower level of education and have shorter attention spans. They are also more likely to break rules and take risks, be more independent, more anti-social, suspicious, jealous and morose, and are deemed less attractive to women.

“On the other hand, infected women tend to be more outgoing, friendly, more promiscuous, and are considered more attractive to men compared with non-infected controls.”

There’s enough food for thought here for about six months of nightmares—I’d apologize but the damage has been done.  More interesting still is that Toxoplasmosis makes a woman much more likely to give birth to male children, for the rest of her life.  So let’s see: Taxoplasmosis makes women more outgoing and promiscuous, and more likely to have male children, those male children will grow up infected and be “more anti-social, suspicious, jealous and morose”—sounds like a recipe for disaster to me, but perhaps the reader will disagree.

It also sounds like a recipe for thousands of years of senseless violence, irrational religious beliefs, material greed and the supression of women.  Or as some folks prefer to call it, “The Whole of Human History.” This is a huge and humbling vista, and we’ll wrap up with some choice words from Taxoplasmosis expert Kevin Lafferty, who puts it in such an understated way you can almost forget how horrific this shit really is:

“In populations where this parasite is very common, mass personality modification could result in cultural change. This may explain a substantial proportion of human population differences we see in cultural aspects that relate to ego, money, material possessions, work and rules.”

10 comments

Filed in: Sex Science

Posted Mar 23, 2007 11 comments

One hundred years ago, alchemists drew up plans for rudimentary adding machines and number processors—now people carry thousands of albums in small plastic boxes and listen to them whenever they want.  Humans only learned to control electricity around 100 years ago—and we still don’t even know exactly what electricity is. 

Now, take a few seconds to pause and consider the same acceleration of complexity, only applied to the wacky world of sexually transmitted diseases.

This may or may not be inspired by some insanely potent marijuana and the Korean horror comedy philosophy movie The Host.  America has some decent artists in film, but the rest of the Earth, being mostly more civilized then us, are kicking our ass at making movies.  Just like they kick our ass at providing real security, real freedom and real democracies.

But We All Taste The Same

...and this movie is real weird.  Did you know mites are part of the arachnid family?  So are ticks. 

Have you ever been on some serious drugs and suddenly realized you were covered with bugs?  Here’s the horrible thing: you were right. We are covered with bugs, we’re just not aware of that most of the time, since we’re not generally mixing crack and acid and walking around someone else’s apartment naked. 

Think about it, bed mites have one mission and one mission only, they are intent on eating you alive every single night that you crawl into bed to go to sleep. And their plan is foiled every single morning when your alarm wakes you up because God, in his infinite wisdom, cursed them with mouths too small to feasilbly consume all of you in an eight hour peroid.  But don’t believe for a second that they aren’t trying. Because they are.

I realize I was just talking about a movie and all, but are you aware of how many microbiologists have died in the past few years?  Just a thought, though. 

How much evidence does it take to bridge the gap between paranoia and perfectly rational concern?  Have you heard the joke about how AIDS was man-made?  It’s a hoot.  There’s people who think that, just because a guy from the Department of Defense went before congress in 1969 and requested $10 million dollars “to develop, within 5 to 10 years, a synthetic biological agent to which no natural immunity exists,”—and just because his request was granted and the program was started at Fort Dietrick in Maryland—and just because Fort Dietrick was also the home of VISNA, a fatal sheep virus developed for human use, and HTLV, or Human T-Cell Leukemia Virus, which was developed in the 70s to kill people by comprimising and destroying their immune system—and just because HIV is structurally most similiar to VISNA and HTLV—based on these random and clearly unrelated threads, people really believe AIDS is a man-made bioweapon. 

As a great woman once pointed out, there is no proof—there is only evidence.  I could also mention how all the early cases of AIDS surfaced in New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco, in gay men...then try to relate that random factoid to the Center for Disease Control testing an experimental Hepatitis B Vaccine in gay men from New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco back in 1978.  It is it insane to think like this? Are there people who have the means and motive to design a virus to reduce the population of human beings on Earth?

...And None of it Even Matters.

Are you a musican?  Do you think you’re the hot next shit?  Yeah...that’s called adolescence.  You will eventually get over it.  None of us really do it willingly, the Universe just gets you pinned in a really uncomfortable position and you’re finally like “yeah ow dammit alright dude you got me what the fuck” and tap out.  Later on this is called wisdom, it’s unclear if that’s because people get old and lazy or old and wise. 

After all, this conspiracy nightmare train of thought doesn’t go anywhere.  You just wind up castrating yourself—and if there’s anything you truly need, buddy, it’s the ability to shoot large, assertive loads of Hope pretty much every day of your life. 

Because in this case, even if the paranoid path is the right one—so what? What are you gonna do about it?  What solace will it give you, as you shiver on the bathroom floor, sobbing and moaning as your flesh peels off onto the tiling?  Will you really feel any better at that moment knowing the history behind the Demon Virus sweeping through your already-rotting body?

Beer: Still Cheaper than Prozac

AND HERE WE ARE, on the edge of that same abyss we always come to.  And here I am, advocating drug abuse once again. Of course, that’s not safe either—for those of us who remember Project Coast, we’re burdened with the knowledge that even back in the early 80s, there was a team of perfectly rational and sane scientists who were discussing putting sterilization drugs into beer and malt liqour and selling it in all-black neighborhoods. 

Would the world be a better place with 5 billion less people?  Here’s a better question—would the world be a better place if we rounded up and killed 100,000 rich white men?  You know, just asking. It seems like a lot less work, and the benefits would be probably be much greater for the species as a whole.  Not that I’m not racist or anything, I just think white people are inherently vicious and evil.

1935 The Pellagra Incident. After millions of individuals die from Pellagra over a span of two decades, the U.S. Public Health Service finally acts to stem the disease. The director of the agency admits it had known for at least 20 years that Pellagra is caused by a niacin deficiency but failed to act since most of the deaths occured within poverty-striken black populations.

I recently did an article on how to stop masturbating forever, and I got a lot of negative emails about that one—yeah, WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T GET THE JOKE.  So here at the end of this grim little rant, I just want to spell it out clearly: I’m not really arguing against sex, just like I’m not really arguing that you should stop drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon even though it’s laced with drugs to make you stupid and blow your load way, way too early.  All I’m really saying is—so what?  We were stupid anyway. 

It’s just something to think about while you’re sipping on a vodka tonic and watching the sun come up, you know? 

Show a friend who believes governments are necessary this copy of title 50 of the United States Code, section 1520.  This law authorizes the Department of Defense to conduct chemical and biological warfare experiments on “civilian populations”.  You’ll notice there is nothing in there about about informing the “civilian population” and getting their consent.  While the only ones “notified” are “local civilian officials”, there is nothing about getting consent first.

No, really—read for yourself here.  Then go here.  Then go get some beer, cuz you earned it.

11 comments

Filed in: Sex Science

Posted Mar 22, 2007 7 comments

I seriously love these kids.  I like people who inspire me to push the envelope further, I like people who can be goofy and refuse to take themselves seriously, and I like people who work hard for a positive future.  I am also rather fond of sex.

These folks combine everything I love into a tidy bundle of Earth-conscious full penetration, and best of all, they do it in slightly broken English.  It’s adorable yo!!! There is almost nothing that cracks me up more than Europeans grappling with English, except maybe watching these Korean girls do Karaoke. Seriously...check out Tommy Hol Ellingsen, explaining the philosophy behind Fuck For Forest:

“Porn makes really, really a lot of money, so why not use that money for good?”

Does the man have a point or what?  Who doesn’t want to make really, really a lot of money?  But hold on, hold on...there could be a lot of people out there who’ve got no idea what I’m ranting about right now, so:

Fuck For Forest is a very small group of environmental activists—basically just Ellingsen and his vixen lil’ girlfriend, Leona Johansson—who make some truly weird pornography.  Midgets doing double penetration scenes is one thing, but watching two kids give a lecture about environmental devastation then start fucking like the happiest, most uncivilized monkeys on Earth...well, it gives a man pause. Makes him wonder if he’s missing something important, you know?

Are They Insane or Are You The Real Pussy?

I contemplate starting up a porn business enough as it is (you should see the photos I get in my email and someday you might) but these kids might just push me over the edge.  After, who am I to complain about the depressing and sadistic state of modern pornography when I’m not making my own? How close to the edge am I, anyway? How many bad days or strange nights away are you?

Let’s all take a second to chew on some more words from Ellingsen—and I swear to god I’m not making these typos up, look for yourself:

HOW WE GOT GET THE IDEE FOR FFF?

Why are not people panicking and running screaming to save nature, before it is too late? This is harder to understand.

We were getting more and more frustrated about the world. We got more depressed by the day. We could not sleep anymore. It seems like war and suppression is more important than saving nature. Sexuality and nature is connected. We are basically here because of sex. But open sexuality is often looked down on as something dirty and strange. We felt sexuality was treated like nature, with disrespect. So why not use pure, open-minded sexuality to put focus on this un-natural way of treating this planet?

Than again, maybe it’s just because of the faces that Leona makes.  There’s something so pure about her enthusiasm it makes me want to gobble a sheet of acid and go dance around in a field somewhere.  When did I get so domesticated? How did it sneak up on me like this?  Yeah, there’s some nights where I think They Got Me, but the real secret is that our cages are never locked.  You can ask questions, you can blame yourself, you can panic and get angry—or you can just smile and crawl out and get back to being the weirdo you always was.  Best of all, you can choose to do that right now.

Best Publicity Stunt Ever? Yes.

If Fuck For Forest sounds familiar, it’s probably because they walked onstage at the biggest music festival in Norway—a stage that had also featured Slipknot, Morrisey, Pharell Williams and Franz Ferdinand—and gave a short talk about imminent environmental destruction.  The crowd was a little restless up until Ellingen asked “How far are you willing to go to save the world?” and his lady friend took her shirt off.

They had no idea what they were in for, even if they did.  I’m unclear or wether or not their stunt was a world record—I seem to remember Britany Spears and Madonna having sex onstage at some point in the past decade—but a sustained 10 minutes of Feral Hippie Animalfuck isn’t something anyone could be really prepared for. 

Obviously, this made headlines all around the world.  The notoriety and the fines were worth it, because apparently their website made $100,000 US last year.  Hilariously, every major environmental charity has refused their money, becuase they are lying whores who lack the balls and commitment to actually save the world.  Because of this, FFF has taken the admirable step of working directly with indiginous people and activist law firms. 

They’ve moved their operations to Berlin, Germany, and Ellingsen is definitely improving on the English tip, recently stating:

“A lot of environmental organizations are too boring, too serious. It scares people away. It’s possible to use irony and play around with this negative information about the state of the world and still get the information out without being too radical or angry. It’s important to have fun.”

If you’d like to get involved, FFF would like to have you join the cause.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, KIDS

7 comments

Filed in: The War on Sex